Reproduced here in it’s full glory.

AMP’s made progress again! Meeting physical ambitions, mastering planks and maneuvering past all Mid-Atlantic predicted adversaries, making postseason annual migration pattern.

Aggressive marking positions and magnificent plays are making people afraid. Meanwhile, Princess and Miggs [pseudonymns] are match-up problems, and Michael Panna a major pickup, adding more potent attacks. Mustached Purifico assaults molded plastic, Andrea’s most passionate and Melissa’s perfect at motivating players. Adept Melanie preserves AMP’s major possessions, and Maddie, Pelleg and Matt Paparone are massive performers. Alex’s mammoth pulls and magical point-blocks always mystify people.

Allowing momentary pause, all members prepare and meticulously plan a merciless push. After mental preparation and much practicing, another mighty pool awaits mixed Philadelphians. AMP’s mission plan: attack, make plays, achieve maximum pleasure and modern prominence.